When the Dream Job Isn’t Yours Anymore
“Do What You Love” Is Not an Asian Motto. It Should Be.
I was waiting to talk to the lawyers about my severance package when the grief hit me. Not just for the job, but for the version of myself who had spent 25 years believing this was the dream.
I wasn’t just losing a paycheck—I was mourning a career, a title, an identity.
The Myth of the Dream Job
In high school, I don’t remember having a dream job. Nothing realistic. My classmates were going to be doctors, lawyers, architects, and one became a nun. I wanted to travel, but “Do what you love” is not an Asian motto. Traveling? Are you nuts?! Who’s going to pay me for traveling? I needed a job that paid well and offered medical insurance.
But life is funny. Fate decided to wink at me—and I did get my dream job. But it wasn’t what I had imagined. Sure, I stayed at luxurious hotels and ate at the best restaurants, but beware what you wish for.
I am, by nature, an introvert. I feel energized by being alone and find socialization exhausting, energy-draining. I need time alone to recharge. Loud environments make me feel anxious. Well, I had jumped into the midst of one of the most hectic international events in the world: the Olympics.
I had every single meal with a group of people. More often than not, I wasn’t alone until I was back in my hotel room. I was exhausted all the time. But who isn’t, right? Oh, I have to skip lunch again? So what, fewer calories. Man, this dinner isn’t over and it’s already 1 a.m. I’m going to sleep four hours again and my neck is killing me.
In Asian families, mental health is something that’s kept quiet and pushed aside as you keep moving forward. My Tiger Dad didn’t understand why I was complaining about life on the road. I understood his anxiety. He was proud of what I had achieved and he wondered what would become of me if I quit. I was making good money, traveling the world, and living a dream life. He was right—what was I thinking?! This was my dream job!
So I kept pushing forward, because success meant having the respect of my boss and my peers, knowing that I was good at my job. Being confident operating at the highest level of international sports. After 25 years working in the Olympic Movement as a translator, interpreter, and executive assistant, I knew everyone in the field—and everyone knew me. I was proud of that. It had taken me over two decades to make those connections.
Passion vs. Pragmatism: Navigating an Identity Crisis
Every time I returned to Mexico after a work trip, people would say, “Did you have fun in Dubai (insert any city)?” Fun? The question was innocent enough, but it started making me angry. Did these people think I had been sightseeing?
I had a moment of honesty with myself: Was this my “dream job"? Yes.
Was it my passion? No.
And then came the pandemic and everything stopped. We couldn’t attend the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. I wasn’t even receiving emails. Weeks went by and there was nothing to do at the office.
Around that time, my ancestors sent me a gift in the form of a phone call from the Korean Embassy. They needed my family tree and documents to prove every relationship in my immigrant family. Was this a scam? No—who would know the name of my great-grandfather?
To have not only something to do, but something fascinating, engaging, and involving the history of Korean immigration to Mexico saved my sanity and woke something dormant in me.
I suddenly remembered how much I loved writing. I wrote for four hours one morning and they flew by. Suddenly I couldn’t turn off my brain. I had ideas coming at me all day.
When the pandemic was over, I couldn’t stop thinking about writing. Why was I so obsessed with this? Was it a midlife crisis? Nah. Ridiculous. I had the best job in the world.
Was I going through a midlife career crisis, or was this an ancestral calling? Damn, if only shamans weren’t so expensive—now was the perfect time to consult one.
The Turning Point: Finding My Words Again
My last work trip was to Lausanne for the 2020 Winter Youth Olympic Games. If I had known it would be the last time I traveled for the Olympics, I would have taken more pictures, breathed in the pure Swiss air, and watched more sports.
My boss was very elderly, but his illness was sudden—and we lost him fast. He had been my mentor. He was beyond generous when my parents were ill. He was strict but funny, driven but kind. It felt like I had lost another parent.
Plus, without my boss, my job no longer existed.
Channeling My Tiger Dad: Starting Over After 25 Years
For my father, money was a source of pride, worry, anxiety, and pleasure. I take after him. It’s not greed. It’s the insecurity of generations of Koreans who had to survive through the exorbitant taxes of the Joseon Dynasty, bad harvests, extreme weather, and the constant shadow of famine.
Well, having to change careers suddenly, I could imagine my father watching me from the other side—anxious for me. But I had a choice to make: go all in or dabble here and there, half-heartedly.
Listen, if my great-grandmother, who was born in Korea in 1894, could sail across the world and start a new life in a country where she did not speak the language—I could take a step sideways, right? Right?
But I’m not starting over. I’m using decades of experience in the fields of education, business, and the Olympics to find my words again.
So, Midlife Crisis or Calling?
Here I am. Writing every single day and hoping I’m not disappointing my parents and all my ancestors.
Calm down, guys, I’m going for it, so I ask for your support and blessings. I want to continue telling your story—and many more stories.
If you’re thinking it’s too late to go for your dream career now, it’s not. Stop hesitating and make the leap. Our last words shouldn’t be “I should have…”
Our last words should be, “I’m so glad I…”
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About the author:
I'm a multilingual writer, editor, and former Olympic executive with 25+ years of experience in international sports, education, and cross-cultural storytelling. I write about identity, diaspora, and life after the so-called “dream job.”
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The idea of dream job vs passion is so powerful. Thank you for sharing this. 💕